When “Community” Becomes Control
I’m not just writing this for me. I’m writing this for every founder who feels the bullshit but stays quiet.
In the past year, I’ve talked with people just starting their founder journeys—some of whom I finally met at an executive program we were all in together recently. Bright, hopeful, working their asses off. And when the topic of “community” groups like Startup CPG comes up? Their faces tighten. They know. They feel it. They see the game. Even today, a VC told me flat out: I hate that Slack channel. So let’s stop pretending.
The Straw
Here’s my personal experience:
I applied to pitch at Startup CPG’s Founders & Funders event. Rejected. It happens, no sweat.
Days later, I kept getting emails from them encouraging “beauty brands” to apply. I am a beauty brand. Confused, I reached out.
My first email got ignored.
So I sent it directly to the founder, Daniel.
I was professional. I asked who made this decision, disclosed that I’m in the middle of a $3M raise (with 20% already secured), explained maybe it’s confusing that we give our profits to charity but as evidenced by the current raise not to worry, and asked why I was still getting solicitations to apply.
His response? A vague “the team” made the call. What team? Who are they? Based on what criteria? No answers. Just a shrug behind a faceless wall. But the coup de grâce: Don’t email me again. Excuse me, what?
All future correspondence is directed to another one of those anonymous email boxes.
Ohhhhh, ok. Now I see who your real customer is and it’s not me. Got it. That’s Startup CPG. That’s the “community.” Manchurian-candidate vibes with a Dexter smile. A Slack channel dressed up as an ecosystem, extracting value from founders’ participation, while arbitrarily deciding who gets the meeting and who doesn’t.
Maybe they’re just not that bright?
Here’s the bigger problem: this isn’t just arrogance. When a group positions itself as the gateway between founders and investors, curates who gets in front of capital, hides behind an opaque “team,” and still blasts solicitations for more applicants, it crosses into dangerous territory. Because these aren’t just social mixers. They’re deal rooms. Access to capital is being mediated. And when that process is opaque, arbitrary, and misleading, it stops being “community” and starts looking like control of deal flow without transparency. That’s not just ethically rotten. It edges into liability.
The Pattern
Startup CPG isn’t unique. Shelfmade is attempting to run the same playbook. I recently booked a meeting after the founder asked publicly for contacts. I offered to help. The call was canceled with a curt, thanks, already got connected. I was happy to get the time back.
Both cases point to the same disease: groups that brand themselves as “community” but operate as toll booths. Founders feed the numbers, the audience size, the narrative. The gatekeepers decide who gets access to use us for whatever leverage they are truly seeking from their “business model.”
Why This Matters
I’ve been to a Startup CPG event. On the surface, it looked like momentum. Afterward, I saw the real shape: access as performance. Founders dangled as bait. Not collaboration. Not connection. Capture. When sub-strata like this start bubbling up: mini-ecosystems within ecosystems, self-appointed gatekeepers holding clipboards, it’s not growth, it’s a shark-jump moment. It’s when an industry eats its own. We need less middlemen not more, thank you.
Founders, enter at your own risk. Eyes wide open. There isn’t much risk to your joining these groups, just remember to always be aware of the power dynamics around you.
I’m Good, Thanks.
I don’t need your Slack if my only role is to pad your audience metrics. I don’t need your mic if it’s decided by a faceless “team.” I’m all set. Because the truth is, the real work is happening outside these groups. It’s happening with every mom who buys a product that sends 100% of profits to families in crisis. It’s happening in founders grinding without shortcuts, without gatekeepers, without permission slips. That’s where the ecosystem lives. That’s where the future is being built.
And I’ll keep saying it—for me, and for every founder who won’t.